The Cycle of Violence

The power and control the abuser exerts over the victim, especially emotional manipulation, leads to victims often remaining with their abusers and suffering additional cycles of violence. In fact, it typically takes victims many (on average, 7) to separate from their abuser.

Experts have identified four phases of this cycle of violence:

During your case, you may see this cycle play out in real time. The victim might tell the police officer what happened and cooperate initially with the investigation. Then, once the defendant gets out of custody on a personal recognizance bond, the defendant may contact the victim, apologize, and make excuses for his conduct. The victim might even invite this contact. The defendant might “love bomb” the victim, which involves showering the victim with love, affection, and sometimes gifts. As an alternative to apologizing, offenders may blame the victim and emotionally and verbally abuse the victim into making the victim feel guilty for reporting. “You ruined my life.” “I’m in jail because of you.” “These guys in here are going to hurt me because of you.” “I’m going to kill myself if I have to stay in here any longer.” The victim may, eventually, accept the defendant’s apologies or succumb to the emotional manipulation and begin to side, even if reluctantly, with the defendant. At this point the victim may minimize or recant and ask you to drop the case, saying they love the defendant. They might blame themselves for “instigating” the defendant to commit the criminal act, claim he has never done anything like this before, or state he won’t do it again.

There are limitations and downsides to using this model. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has, for example, stopped using the Cycle of Violence model because it incorrectly suggests there are “four predictable, repetitive steps” when, in reality, DV relationships tend to anything but predictable for victims. See “Is Abuse Really a ‘Cycle’?,” National Domestic Violence Hotline, available at https://www.thehotline.org/resources/is-abuse-really-a-cycle/.

Another reason they do not use the model is because it is sometimes used against victims, especially in court. A defense attorney might ask a victim, “why didn’t you leave during the ‘calm phase’?” Id. Such a question suggests the victim for the abuse or that the victim must be fabricating stories about repetitive violence that doesn’t comport with the cycle. Still, the Cycle of Violence model remains useful as a pedagogical tool.